Welcome back, Deion! This was a good piece. The tendency towards despair in young people, especially the perpetually online, seems to be a real problem, and I'm glad to see you addressing it online. I also think what you have to say about the telos of life is very interesting. Ultimately, marriage is supposed to be something that draws two people (and their future children, if any) closer to G-d; you are right that it isn't an end to itself. And, as Catholics, we don't believe that marriage is the only way G-d draws us close to Him. I've been thinking a lot about the single and celibate life lately, and how we misunderstand its value (which also has ramifications for how we understand the married life). It's a shame that some young men become trapped in these wrong views, whether they end up hurting others or just themselves. If they are called to marriage they will certainly not find it if constantly insisting to themselves that they are inherently unlovable (which only makes them unlovable), and if they aren't then they are missing the real pleasures and joys that can come with becoming a voluntary celibate.
Hmm. Another interesting piece, Deion! I had never heard of "blackpill-ism" myself. A couple thoughts. One, isn't the Bible the ultimate blackpill, in a sense? It does tell us that THIS world is a fallen and inherently disappointing one, right? Any love we experience in this realm will pale in comparison to the love that God has for us, moreover. So maybe despairing of finding happiness in romantic love isn't frivolous or wrong -- it's just sensible and, to a point, Biblical. Two, the whole idea that your appearance totally determines your romantic prospects strikes me as silly. There are plenty of homely, dumpy men with beautiful women on their arms. I've always felt that CONFIDENCE is what women are drawn to, above all else. Is confidence genetic? Only partly. Three, I basically agree with your conclusion that a rich, satisfying life is very possible without romance, marriage, childbearing, etc. It's understandable that people want these things, and will be chagrined when they don't materialize, but it's absurd to fetishize romantic love and pretend that it's the ONLY thing that matters. That's a peculiarly modern misconception, and we ought to discard it.
Welcome back, Deion! This was a good piece. The tendency towards despair in young people, especially the perpetually online, seems to be a real problem, and I'm glad to see you addressing it online. I also think what you have to say about the telos of life is very interesting. Ultimately, marriage is supposed to be something that draws two people (and their future children, if any) closer to G-d; you are right that it isn't an end to itself. And, as Catholics, we don't believe that marriage is the only way G-d draws us close to Him. I've been thinking a lot about the single and celibate life lately, and how we misunderstand its value (which also has ramifications for how we understand the married life). It's a shame that some young men become trapped in these wrong views, whether they end up hurting others or just themselves. If they are called to marriage they will certainly not find it if constantly insisting to themselves that they are inherently unlovable (which only makes them unlovable), and if they aren't then they are missing the real pleasures and joys that can come with becoming a voluntary celibate.
Hmm. Another interesting piece, Deion! I had never heard of "blackpill-ism" myself. A couple thoughts. One, isn't the Bible the ultimate blackpill, in a sense? It does tell us that THIS world is a fallen and inherently disappointing one, right? Any love we experience in this realm will pale in comparison to the love that God has for us, moreover. So maybe despairing of finding happiness in romantic love isn't frivolous or wrong -- it's just sensible and, to a point, Biblical. Two, the whole idea that your appearance totally determines your romantic prospects strikes me as silly. There are plenty of homely, dumpy men with beautiful women on their arms. I've always felt that CONFIDENCE is what women are drawn to, above all else. Is confidence genetic? Only partly. Three, I basically agree with your conclusion that a rich, satisfying life is very possible without romance, marriage, childbearing, etc. It's understandable that people want these things, and will be chagrined when they don't materialize, but it's absurd to fetishize romantic love and pretend that it's the ONLY thing that matters. That's a peculiarly modern misconception, and we ought to discard it.
Thanks for the thoughtful post!